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Diagnosing Why Your Husband Feels Hopeless at Work

“Something’s not working right. Just won’t get up and go. Sluggish. Working really hard but not making progress. Burning way too much fuel. I’m thinking something serious is gonna happen if we don’t do something.” Yep. That sounds like a wife describing her husband’s feeling about his work. Actually, that’s me explaining to Darrel, the Repair Master mechanic, the problem I’m having with my car today. And when asked how long the “fix engine” light had been on, I couldn’t even remember! It had been on for that long! But, you know I might as well have been describing many such conversations I’ve had with wives who feel concerned about their husbands “fix engine light” going on with his work.

  • “He’s not firing on all cylinders. He has more gifts that are being tapped! He’s using up way too much fuel…."

  • "He comes home really tired and doesn't have much energy left at night."

"He’s sluggish. He hates getting up some mornings."

  • "I’m concerned if he doesn’t address this, something bad’s gonna happen."

  • "I cant imagine him doing this until he retires."

First know this. I can relate. My own wife said all these things about me. I was driving with my fix engine light so long I think I burnt out that bulb! And work hopelessness took a major toll on me and took years to recover from. It leaked into mt health, spiritual life, relationships, identity.

Is there a solution for a husbands fix engine light and lack of hope at work?

Answer: Yes! Totally! But, it may not just “go away” on it’s own.

The first thing Darrel does for my car is to plug in a “diagnoser” into the system. “Yep. Cylinder three ain’t firing!” He then calls over his partner Brendon to look under the hood to see what options we have. 

The reality is that some husbands need to have their “work engine” diagnosed. There are multiple reasons that could be why “something’s just not right.” Yet it’s all they know. They don't know things can run any differently!

How do you know what’s wrong? Well, first it may take a “diagnoser.” It could be:

  • He’s in wrong field all together

His best gifts are not being tapped in his current environment

  • He’s in a toxic environment. Run!

  • He needs to say “no” to something draining him.

  • He needs time away and some relief

  • He needs a more life-giving rhythm to life and work.

  • He needs to find his passion and begin doing it on the side.

As I learn from Darrel and Brendon is that some fixes are pretty simple. “Maybe you just need a new plug or wire.” And some fixes are pretty drastic. “Or you may need to pull the engine apart to get to the pistons. We won;t know until we do some more diagnosis.” But, doing nothing isn’t an option. Each time out on the road is putting me and others at risk for a breakdown. You create the environment for a much more expensive fix. Darrel uses big words like “catalytic converter.” There may come a time when your husband needs career and work diagnosis and help. If it’s been “years.” If “nothing’s changing…” Then the most loving thing you may do is to get him “into the shop.” As Zig Ziglar has said,

"Making a big life change is scary. But know what’s even scarier? Regret.”

The good news: It doesn’t need to be this way! It doesn’t need to stay this way!

And, as a place to start. RIGHT NOW you can download a complementary copy of my new book, “Unlocking Your Convergence Point: 7 Keys to Freeing the Work You Were Born to Do.

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